Ask the LifeQuake Doctor - Q&A with Toni Galardi, PhD

Ask the LifeQuake Doctor™ - Q&A's with Dr. Toni Galardi

Dear Dr. Toni:

I am a CDAC counselor and therefore am interested in all things that are psychologically oriented. My girlfriend, however, is really into New Agey stuff. She gets acupuncture every week, she meditates, she’s a vegetarian, etc. I’m fine with that, but she wants ME to be into her interests and I’m just not. I find meditation boring, I don’t like being poked by needles, and I like to eat meat. Are we doomed?

Lowry’s lover

 Dear Reader:

What I find interesting is that you don’t mention if there are interests you do share. The key to a successful relationship is not in choosing someone like you necessarily but that there is mutual respect for each other’s interests, as well as things you both enjoy doing some of the time. When you have been at different activities, do you come back together and share your experience with your partner? This sharing means including your partner in the conversation. Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward were married for over half a century. They had widely divergent interests, but they shared a love of family and the arts, in addition to their mutual respect for one another. Beyond the activities and interests you share, I deeply believe it’s the mutual respect that is the real key in keeping a partnership vital.

Then there is the issue of co-dependency. Co-dependency Anonymous is another option but they don’t always have meetings in every community. Although Al-Anon is primarily for the loved ones of addicts, they do address the addiction to trying to control and change behavior of partners. Perhaps you might suggest she attend a meeting in your community—but only suggest. Your challenge is to stay loving and yet true to listening to your own intuition as to whether some of the interests your girlfriend has are also right for you.

Ask the LifeQuake Doctor™ - Q&A's with Dr. Toni Galardi

Dear Dr. Galardi:

I am a psychotherapist in private practice. I work primarily with clients in early recovery. Since the tsunami/ earthquake in Japan, I have been receiving an increase of people suffering from panic disorders and relapse from chemical dependency recovery. Further, I wish I could say it was just my clients. It seems that everyone is in a heightened state of anxiety. My office is in Marin County, CA and the news on the west coast has people pretty scared as they predict that we could be seeing earthquake activity on the Pacific Rim through June.

When I was living in Florida, I saw this as well when the hurricanes hit a few years ago, but now it is even worse because people fear they are being exposed to radiation poisoning. So much information is coming out now around how we were really affected by Chernobyl and it has people scared. I notice I am coming home at night totally exhausted by this level of anxiety I am getting from clients all day. Since you seem to be the crisis intervention expert, I thought perhaps you might have some suggestions as to what to do to keep myself from “compassion fatigue.”   

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Ask the LifeQuake Doctor -Q & A's with Dr. Toni Galardi

I am a clinician working at a treatment facility that primarily addresses chemical dependency. I don’t want to give too many details because I need this to remain anonymous. I have been working in the recovery field for over 20 years. I feel dedicated to my work and to the residents but our facility was bought by a large corporation and is now being run strictly as a business. I don’t feel like they care about relapse prevention with the clients at all.

In fact, I would submit that they want the clients to relapse so they will come back to our facility. I have seen certain practices administered that foster dependency on the staff. I have asked my boss for the opportunity to run a group that focuses on their jobs and potentially stressful times when the client returns to their life. He rejects all of my ideas if they run at all counter to the rigid program that they have in place. What should I do? Is it time to quit?

Frustrated and Depressed

Dear Reader:

I empathize with you and commend you on wanting to truly assist in the recovery and relapse prevention of those you serve. Change does not come easily when corporate policies are in place. Your boss’ hands may be tied from the powers at be above him.

The key to making gradual change may be subtle. For example, perhaps you might try weaving one of the techniques you want to use that is future focused into the groups you are working with. You might throw out questions to the group that invite a discussion about discovering life purpose. Carl Jung spoke about how important it is for an individual to hear the call of his/her soul. See if that works. If you find that you are still not expressing yourself creatively on your job then you might think about starting a group at night for people in early recovery at a place you rent space and charge them for your time.