Differences between women and men have been researched, argued over, praised, underestimated, overestimated and otherwise discussed for years. Over the past 30 years gender-specific products and services have been developed. To what extent, however, should gender differences be considered in counseling a client, and does a client’s beliefs about his or her gender identity increase or decrease the successful outcomes to counseling? If women and men respond differently to problems, experience different emotions, and have different ways of interpreting and reacting to relationship situations should we take these into consideration when working with them in a clinical setting?

For example, women and men treated for dual disorders of chemical dependency and a coexisting mental disorder are often diagnosed differently. Women with dual diagnosis are much for likely to be diagnosed with major depression, panic disorder, eating disorder and borderline personality disorder. Men with dual disorders are more likely to be diagnosed with schizophrenia, bipolar, antisocial personality, narcissistic personality, attention deficit/hyperactivity and impulse disorders.

Additionally, research studies on gender differences indicate that women are more likely to attribute failure to their lack of ability, whereas men are more likely to blame it on the difficulty of the task, or on someone’s assessment of their performance and differences. In one study, Davis and Proctor (1989) found that men have a more exploitative behavioral style and women tend to have more of an accommodative style.

Are these differences due to different emotions and behaviors in women and men, gender socialization or clinical practices among counselors and mental-health professionals? Although research supports all of these as causal variables, let’s examine the influence of gender socialization on the treatment of women and men.

Rigid boundaries

Have you ever worked with a client and no matter what modality or counseling techniques you use, nothing happens? Have you heard from a client, “I just can’t do that, you don’t know me, or you don’t know my family?” Perhaps the barrier lies not with you or the counseling technique. The problem might be very strong gender beliefs that create rigid boundaries for the client that she or he cannot break through. The more a client adheres to a narrow stereotype gender identity the more difficult it will be for that client to work through her or his problems.

A male client who admitted that he had many feelings about the problems he was incurring, once said to me, “Before I feel anything I want to feel like a man.” He then pointed at me and said, “You got that?” He was more willing to keep his pain than he was to change his image to better deal with the pain. His ideas about what a man should be were too narrow for him to accept change.

The process by which we are taught what it means to be a woman or a man in our culture is called gender socialization. Gender socialization includes our attitudes and actions about gender appropriate behavior. For example, in our culture women are socialized to be more process oriented when solving problems. Men are socialized to be more action oriented. If a woman is troubled, she wants to talk about it. Usually what she wants to talk about first is her emotions about the problem, not a solution. Solutions, if needed, will come later. Men with problems usually want to talk only about solutions and get started with corrective actions right away. Processing emotions that accompany their problems is not in the scheme for most men.

Gender socialization training begins primarily in the family and at an early age. It cannot be assumed, however, that all gender socialization is healthy. This is especially true in a dysfunctional family. Claudio Bepko, writes in her book, The Responsibility Trap, that gender socialization is intensified in addicted families. That is, rather than abandoning traditional gender-role socialization, daughters and sons from dysfunctional families are likely to emerge with very stereotypical roles.

To say that dysfunctional families are rigid is an understatement. This is particularly true in the way that they experience gender socialization. Many of today’s adults from dysfunctional families were raised with very narrow boundaries about acceptable gender behaviors. In their families, girls and women were expected to think and act in certain ways and so were the boys and men. There was not much room for gender role changes or growth.

Many women from dysfunctional families believe that they are expected to be more care giving, to identify more with other people’s needs, to be less likely to focus on themselves and to be more tolerant of inappropriate behaviors in others. On the other hand, men from dysfunctional families believe they are expected to be less emotional in the family, get most of their needs met outside the family and get most of their identity from their occupations.

Clients who have experienced narrow stereotype gender socialization patterns, may bring exaggerated gender traits into the counseling process. For example, Lynn Sanford writes in her book, Women and Self-Esteem, that women’s self-concept is often fragmented. Women are more likely to focus on something about themselves that they believe needs to be improved as the source of their self-concept. American marketing practices for women’s products play right into this type of thinking. For example, they never show the entire woman in an ad, but rather fragments of her telling her that she would be better if her hands, eyes, hair or thighs were a certain way. The message is — you are never enough and that you need self-improvement.

Men, however, use self-image enhancing for their self-concept. Although men’s self-concept is fragmented as well, men are more likely to focus on things they believe they do well and generalize those things to who they think they are. Thus, on the average, in American society when something goes wrong for a woman she is more likely to look internally first for the cause. When something goes wrong for men, they are more likely to look externally for the cause. Therefore, those women with stereotypical gender identities are likely to disproportionately hold themselves accountable for problems. Men with such identities are disproportionately likely to hold others accountable for their problems. Stereotype identities either lead to too much self-blame (internally oriented) or too much of blaming others (externally oriented).

The following characteristics and suggestions might apply to clients who possess a high degree of stereotype gender socialization.

Internally oriented clients

• more process oriented
• possess a high degree of self-condemnation
• self-concept is negatively fragmented
• emotional reactions initially dominate
• believe that problems are internally caused
• more comfortable discussing feelings
• need to examine the social context of their behaviors (need to see how other people see them as opposed to their negative self-image)
• focus on the implied meaning of words
• more likely to ask questions for insight
• need to learn to ask for what they need
• need to establish personal and professional boundaries
• need to learn to communicate directly
• need to learn to stand up for her or himself
• want someone to listen

Externally oriented clients

• more solution oriented
• want a plan or action to use
• more likely to possess an image enhancing self-concept
• believe that only positive emotions can be shared
• want to be left alone to figure out problems
• more literal about the meaning of words
• less likely to ask questions or only to ask for issues to justify behaviors
• need to learn to accept responsibility for actions
• need to learn appropriate ways to express feelings, especially negative ones
• become internally validated (needs to find a sense of worth other than what she or he does for a living
  
  In addition to the above suggestions, the following typologies can be applied to women and men from dysfunctional families. The typologies are not mutually exclusive. A person may identify with one or more typologies at the same time or at different times in their lives.
  
  Typologies of adults from dys-functional families

The Achiever usually is found among women and men who adhere to an average stereotype gender identity. Positive: competent, good in a crisis, reliable, meets goals, powerful and in control, successful, survivor, motivates self and others. Negative: overly competitive, perfectionist, difficulty relaxing, fails to care for self, can’t express feelings, externally validated only, workaholic, never wrong, attracted to a dependent person, compulsive, fears failure, unable to play. Transitions for recovery: develop an internal sense of validation in self, learn to say no, find time for self, learn to relax, slow down, learn to appreciate self.

The Triangulator is found more among males with high stereotype gender identity. Positive: creative, courageous, good under pressure, many friends, commands attention, adventuresome. Negative: conduct disorders, poor communication skills, blames world for problems, manipulative, angry, irresponsible, substance abuser, passive-aggressive. Transitions for recovery: learn to accept responsibility for self-behaviors, appropriate ways to manage or release anger, communicate directly, alternative ways to manage stress.

The Passive One is found more among women who have a high stereotype gender identity. Positive: tolerant, willing to help others, highly adaptable, loyal friends, independent, good listener, empathetic. Negative: doesn’t stand up for self, low self-worth, puts others first, lonely, fears reality, depressed, joyless, used in relationships, eating disorders, confused, shy. Transitions for recovery: learn to care for self first, do things to raise self-esteem, accept being liked by others, stop doing what you do not like to do, take action.

The Other-Directed One is found more among women with a high stereotype gender identity. Positive: attracts attention, charming, sense of humor, anticipates needs, adaptable, team player, cooperative, joyful, energetic. Negative: overly controlled by others, tense, anxious, over-reactive, shallow relationships, indecisive, no sense of self, overly dependent, needs to please others, needs constant approval, poor sense of boundaries. Transitions for recovery: learn to develop a sense of what is right for self, stop being controlled by others, learn to express self needs and ideas, establish own sense of self and boundaries, start doing what you want to do.

Conflict Avoider is found equally in women and men — in women with a high stereotype gender identity — in men with a low stereotype gender identity, Positive: willing to help others, good in a crisis, good negotiator, problem solver, persistent, sensitive to others, thinks of alternatives, good communicator. Negative: unrealistic opinion of arguments, placates others, powerlessness, depression, denial, takes on too many problems, seldom happy, intimidated, inability to receive, user relationships. Transitions for recovery: recognize own problems, stop taking on problems of others. Learn to accept positive attention, learn the difference between helping someone and feeling responsible for their problems and solutions, be receptive to help from others.

The Hypermature is found equally among women and men with average stereotype gender identities. Positive: organized, analytical, prepared, mature reliable, intuitive, meets goals, attentive. Negative: too serious, difficulty expressing emotions, needs control, stress-related illnesses, not much fun, fearful, driven, avoids risks, critical, blames self. Transitions for recovery: learn to relax and have fun, let others take charge, express emotions, adjust priorities to reduce feeling overwhelmed, laugh more.

The Detacher is found more among men with high stereotype gender identities. Positive: perceptive, sets limits, spots trouble, independent, self-motivated, traveler, nonconformist. Negative: rigid attitudes, jealous, suspicious, defiant, lonely, non-feeling, high risk for addiction, secretive, inner anger, fears being hurt, denial. Transitions for recovery: learn interpersonal relationship skills, develop a realistic concept of healthy relationships, develop alternatives for managing stress, identify and express emotions, accept help and support from others.

The Invulnerable are men and women from dysfunctional families who are doing fine and have average stereotype gender identities. Positive: attract and use support of others, a healthy sense of humor, well balanced sense of autonomy, socially at ease and others comfortable around them, willing to identify and express feelings, work through problems, neither controlling or controlled, don’t live in fear of the past, live in joy of the present, like themselves.

Robert J. Ackerman, PhD, is Director of the Mid-Atlantic Addiction Training Institute and Professor of Sociology at Indiana University of Pennsylvania. He is the author of Perfect Daughters, Health Com-munications, Inc. and Silent Sons, Simon and Shuster

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andrew   |125.60.241.xxx |2007-07-10 23:20:35 mongoloid Reply 0   0

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