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| Love Languages |
| Columns - Opinion | ||||||||
| Wednesday, 31 May 2006 | ||||||||
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Many of our gambling and significant person clients have been so preoccupied with the addiction that they have never really taken quality time to work on their relationships. Our clients often have a range of issues underlying their addiction. Seemingly, marital issues take a backburner to other more pressing immediate needs. However, as a couple enters into recovery they begin to realize they have some serious relationship work to do. Although we may not be marriage counselors, we find ourselves trying to help these couples with relational needs.
One of the most beneficial books counselors can recommend to married couples is The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. Chapman also has written a similar book on the love languages of children, which is very good. Dr. Chapman claims that there are basically five love languages that individuals respond to. Everyone needs all of these five love styles expressed in their marriage. However, most individuals have one or two which could be identified as their primary love language. The key is discovering which love language your spouse responds to. Often we do things we think our spouse would like, when in actuality they are things we would like for ourselves. The effort ends up being unappreciated by our spouse since it doesn’t speak to their heart’s desire. This article is published in Counselor,The Magazine for Addiction Professionals, June 2006, v.7, n.3, p.64.
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