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| Six Exercises to Drastically Improve Your Counseling Skills |
| Columns - Professional Development | |
| Sunday, 31 March 2002 | |
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Can you really improve your counseling skills, as well as the counseling skills of those you supervise, in less than a measly hour? The answer is an unequivocal "yes." Several years ago I created a set of simple exercises that can easily improve your own counseling skills as well as the skills of those persons whom you supervise. What makes these exercises desirable is the fact that they can literally be conducted in four minutes or less. Moreover, it doesn't matter what school of counseling you adhere to, e.g., REBT, reality therapy, etc., these strategies are valid.To begin, the participants form dyads: one person plays the role of the counselor while the other plays the client. Next, the leader speaks to all the participants who are playing the client role in private. The clients are told that they will be rating their counselor on their effectiveness for each trial but this will not be revealed to the helper until after all the trials are completed. The rating scale goes from zero to 100. Zero is the worst, 50 is average, while 100 designates the perfect helper. The participants are urged to be honest. For each trial I secretly give the counselors their role. The counselor never reveals their instructions until after all the trials are conducted. Each trial should last approximately four or five minutes. In addition, the role-plays will be scientific if the person playing the client tells the same problem for each trial. Trial #1: Begin by asking the people playing the counselors: "Have you ever had an experience when you should have been listening to a client but your mind was wandering? I want you to purposely let your mind wander during the interview. Perhaps you'll be thinking about where you are going to lunch or picking up your child at day care. Other than that, just try to be a good helper." Trial #2: This is roughly the opposite of trial #1. The helpers are instructed to hang on every word the client says, no matter how irrelevant or boring the client's saga. Trial #3: Explain to the individuals in the counselor's role that research shows that counselors who lean forward slightly are perceived as more interested and better helpers. Hence, "I want you to lean toward the individual you are trying to help. Just slightly admonish them, although not like a competitor getting ready for martial arts combat." Trial #4: Explain to the helpers that you want them to give advice to their clients. Have them say things like, "you should get a divorce, get the beer the heck out of your house, stop agreeing with your mother-in-law, etc." Be direct. Trial #5: This is a twist on trial #4. The counselor is instructed to give honest, direct advice, but to do so using tentative suggestions or interpretations. Thus, instead of saying, "get a divorce," have them say something like "I wonder what might happen if you were divorced." Have them use phrases such as "is it possible that ... ?, I wonder what would happen if ... ?, could it be that ... ?" Trial #6: Have the counselors purposely and continuously interrupt the client to talk extensively about how they handled an identical or similar problem in their own lives. Processing the trials for maximum effectiveness The most important part of this exercise is processing what transpired. To do this you will ask each person who is playing a client to give his or her counselor a rating and then discuss their feelings. Here are some typical reactions from the clients and issues you can discuss with them: Trials #1 and #2: If the counselor has truly followed the directions they will receive a terrible rating, on occasion a zero! Clients will generally assert that their counselor seemed totally disinterested in them. A great question to ask at this point is: "If you really went to a counselor who acted in this manner, would you honestly go back for a second session?" Most clients insist they would not. Now ask: "How is active listening important?" Make it a point to note that all counselors have times that they tune the client out. Explain to the group, "There will indeed be times when you find that you are not listening to your clients. This exercise will not totally abate this habit. It will, nevertheless, teach you to be cognizant of what you are doing so you can return to a therapeutic state of active listening as quickly as possible." The rating for trial #2 usually is considerably higher than #1, often hovering near the ideal score of 100 since the counselor is hanging on to every word the client utters. Trial #3: The rating for trial #3 often exceeds that of #2 (unless #2 was 100). Discuss how leaning forward ever so slightly causes you to be perceived as a better helper. In a group setting, the leader merely leans toward the client he or she is working with at that particular moment. This trial is also helpful to initiate discussion of the whole issue of proxemics (i.e., how the distance between the helper and the client affects the treatment. Edward T. Hall, an anthropologist, studied proxemics in many different cultures. For more information, try typing Hall's name into a major search engine, or visit www.awc.cc.az.us/psy/dgershaw/101/Proxemics.html). When this trial backfires and the counselor receives a lower rating, it is almost always because their chairs were too close together and the client feels uncomfortable. The ultimate bottom line is that if you lean forward you can't sit too close to the client. Trials #4 and #5: In a high percentage of cases the score for trial #5 will exceed the figure for trial #4. Why? The answer is easy. To quote the old adage: It's not what you say, it's how you say it. Historically, it was the Freudian psychoanalysts who first discovered the value of the tentative response. An analyst might say to his client, "You really hate your mother," and the client would become angry and deny it. If, on the other hand, the analyst said something like, "I'm wondering if you have any anger toward your mother," the client would often acquiesce, or at the very least, seriously explore the notion and as a result open up in discussion. Counselors, especially in the field of addictions, seem enamored with helpers who confront the client in a belligerent manner. Counselors of this ilk make workshop and client demonstrations interesting, yet true effective treatment is often slow and boring. Although this approach will succeed with a small percentage of clients, it is the most common method of alienating a client during the initial session. Buffer your suggestions, especially during the initial sessions and watch your counseling sessions improve. Good therapy should not resemble a bar room brawl! Trial #6: The counselor performing this trial is very unlikely to receive a stellar rating. This trial zeros in on the notion of counselor self-disclosure. Although some disclosure on the part of the helper is indeed therapeutic, I often tell the group that your clients aren't there to, "hear every detail of how you spent the 60's high on LSD." Never forget: Your clients come to talk about themselves, not you. Lastly, remember to let each individual who played the counselor process his or her feelings and thoughts for each trial with the group. Perhaps the most important overall point is that at some level your clients are always rating your skills as a helper. These six exercises will go a long way towards helping you to get a passing grade from your clients. Howard Rosenthal, EdD, CCMHC is the Program Director of Human Services at St. Louis Community College at Florissant Valley and the author of several academic best sellers. Counselors nationwide use his book to secure licensing and certification, The Encyclopedia of Counseling. His web site is www.a-zuc.com/counseling              |
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