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| Issues in Counseling Gifted and Talented Clients in Addiction Therapy |
| Columns - Opinion | |
| Written by Barbara Carter | |
| Friday, 13 April 2007 | |
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There is a misconception among most of society that gifted and talented persons don’t need any special attention from counselors. The assumption can be that gifted and talented persons (GNTs) just have more of “a good thing” and really don’t (shouldn’t?) need much help. As addiction therapists, we need always to consider the special needs of our clients. In an effort to move away from “cookie cutter” treatment plans and interventions, we are always searching for ways to individualize our treatment approaches. GNTs – those who have special intellectual, artistic and other abilities – often are viewed as not needing extra help. However, this is far from true. Consider that a person with an IQ of 60 is 40 points away from the “normal” IQ of 100. A person with an IQ of 140 is just as many points away from “normal.” The person with the lower IQ is quickly identified as having special needs, and an array of services and support are available to that person. However, this is not usually the case for persons with much higher than normal IQs. Programs in schools for GNT children frequently focus on their educational, career and intellectual goals and needs, but are not as likely to address emotional education and emotional health (Silverman, 1993). The issues for GNTs extend to special approaches for socialization, emotion/sensitivity management, self-acceptance, and more.Asynchronous development From a developmental perspective, gifted persons experience what is called “asynchronous development” from the earliest age. Their developmental age in one area may be around age 12, and in another area, age 24. For example, a young GNT may have unusual depth of compassion and empathy for the suffering of others as shown on the evening news, and/or may have strong sense that justice is not being served. However, this same GNT will likely lack the emotional development sufficient to deal with the inability to help or to make a difference or to accept that not everyone feels a need to relieve the suffering of others. Feelings of compassion-based pain, helplessness due to age, isolation from others who don’t understand their depth of feeling, and depression about the future of the world can certainly impact these individuals in negative ways. Similarly, a gifted young musician or athlete may win performance championships in competition with adults, but may not be prepared emotionally for the jealousy and isolation such prominent competence and attention can bring. It also is common for exceptional individuals to be keenly aware of their difference from others, and a struggle may begin to deny what is undeniable, to somehow change what can’t be changed: their capabilities and all that comes with them. There is no way to stop being smart or gifted. If GNTs grow up hearing, “You’re so smart, you figure it out,” they may stop asking for help, and feel depressed and defeated when they can’t “figure it out.” They may be easy targets for ridicule from their more “normal” peers, and be called names like “egghead” and “brainiac.” One of the common denominators of GNTs is exceptional sensitivity (referred to by Dabrowski as “overexcitabilities”) not only emotionally, but also physically: to light, smell, touch, and so on. GNTs can struggle with managing their intense physiological responses to stimuli. These well-documented sensitivities and intensities (Dabrowski, Piechowski, 1977; Silverman 1993; etc.) can be a set-up for the integration of negative self-definition and rejection of self. GNTs may begin to “go underground” or “dumb down” in order to create a sense of fitting in, of being accepted and more “normal” like others. This does not necessarily stop at the end of adolescence, especially if self-rejection has been a successful coping tool. So, when we as addiction therapists find ourselves working with GNT clients, what are some of the more salient issues? Shame. At a workshop on the counseling needs of GNTs, the 24 participants were asked to fill out an informal, anonymous survey prior to the start of the workshop. The survey asked whether any of five characteristics listed on the survey applied to them, such as: “I skipped a grade in school,” “I am more sensitive than most people,” and “I consider myself gifted and talented.” All 24 participants identified anonymously with at least three of the five characteristics; and 21 of the 24 indicated they considered themselves to be gifted and talented. However, at the opening of the workshop when I asked those who are gifted and talented to raise their hand, only one person was willing to self-identify. We then discussed shame and self-acceptance as critical issues in counseling GNTs. Emotional sensitivity and intensity. Because of their exceptional sensitivities, GNTs are great at “reading” other people. This translates easily into reading the counselor, anticipating what the counselor is looking for and expecting of the client. A counselor’s awareness of this can lead to a frank conversation about having the client step outside what has become a very comfortable coping strategy, opening the way for a corrective experiences around accepting their own heightened sensitivity, intensity, passion and perceptiveness. Additionally, this same heightened awareness and sensitivity to others’ emotional experiences can lead to a profound difficulty in setting personal boundaries. These traits can be presented as the strengths that they are, followed by therapeutic work aimed at helping the GNT redirect and manage these aspects of themselves. Perfectionism and control. Because GNT clients typically possess a strong desire to achieve and meet goals in the pursuit of excellence, their self-demands can look a lot like perfectionism (Neihart, Reis, Robinson & Moon, 2002). It may in fact be perfectionism, but it may not be pathological. As therapists, we may do damage by asking these GNTs to let go of the need to control, or to settle for good enough rather than excellent. Consider that control is a requirement for achieving complicated goals in business, science, and law, and is essential to many creative endeavors in the arts. Pursuit of perfection is the hallmark of gifted athletes, scientists, musicians and artists. Was Madame Curie an overachiever, a perfectionist who should have settled for less? Was Mozart? For many GNTs, if getting sober means letting go of excellence through letting go of control and perfectionism, then sobriety simply isn’t attractive. Perhaps more useful is helping GNTs understand and accept their own limits, and to live within them. GNTs frequently are asked, “Is there anything you’re NOT good at?!” GNTs can be very hard on themselves, holding expectations of achievement and ability that extend beyond their particular gifts. Intellectualizing. In 12-Step based meetings, a statement similar to the following can sometimes be heard: “I never saw anybody too dumb to get this Program, but I’ve seen plenty of people who are too smart to get it.” For GNTs, this can be a death knell for continued participation. GNTs are usually well aware of their intelligence, and may have already heard “You’re too smart for your own good” and “You think too much” while growing up. Implicit in these kinds of statements is shame for being smart, and a message that in order to be successful in recovery, one must stop using one‘s brain. Additionally, implying that a GNT might need to “dumb down” yet again to “get it” or to fit in is unappealing at best, and exclusionary at worst. Similarly, in counseling settings, suggesting to GNTs they “turn off their brains” in order to get touch with their hearts may be a set-up for failure: many GNTs know they can’t “turn off their brains” even though they may have wanted to in the past; others simply wouldn’t want to. A different approach might be to honor GNTs’ intellects while encouraging them to get in touch with their powerful heart, allowing their feelings to inform their intellect. GNT clients present therapists with unique needs that may require the therapist to step outside traditional or rote approaches. Respecting and honoring the intellectual integrity of the client and how that manifests, is essential. Offering hope that what makes GNT clients different is more blessing than curse when directly approached and openly managed is also important. Assuring GNT clients that recovery does not require them to let go of what makes them unique can be the turning point at which they go from dreading or avoiding recovery, to instead, enthusiastically embracing it. References Dabrowski, K. & Piechowski, M. M. (1977). Theory of Levels of Emotional Develoment (Vols 1 & 2). Oceanside, NY: Dabor Science Neihart, M., Reis, S.; Robinson, N.; Moon, S., eds. (2002). The Social and Emotional Development of Gifted Children: What Do We Know? Prufrock Press, Inc. Waco, TX. Silverman, Linda Kreger, ed. (1993). Counseling the Gifted and Talented. Love Publishing Company: Denver, CO. Readers have left 4 comments. 4. Untitled Judith, Unregistered It's a double whammy - - I now admit that I am gifted and creative. Every list generated about the gifted applies to me. Worse yet, my son is also gifted, probably more so than I. He has always seen more in everything than anyone else, explains it perfectly in minute detail, and gets punished in the end because his intensity turns others off. I have survived somehow not only managing to get a decent professional job but also able to paint and write novels. I'm not so sure my son will survive although I give him my support and love. However it's very, very difficult as he's an adult and has absorbed the divorce of his father and me, being forced to live in another country with his father during adolescence, not given the stimulation and direction needed during that critical time, and then came back to me at age 19 - - confused and resentful. Still hoping that he will recognize his gifts and stop self-bashing. Nonetheless, being gifted in many ways never stops being a cross to bear throughout one's life. This has definitely been my experience: being different, too intense, too intellectual, too artistic, always having to dumb down, having few people with whom one can communicate in a reciprocal way, yet needing the rewards of emotional support from others nonetheless. There is no happy, easy fix no matter what is said or written. Any comments are welcome - send to
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Posted 2007-11-12 11:37:17 3. Untitled Michel Bonenfant, Unregistered One aspect which has not been discussed and that is a close parent of shame, is guilt. GNT's tend, when they stop using, to review negatively their past. Hence, surrounding themselves with the "I should have syndrome"! They tend to only look at the IQ side of the sheet and not the emotional side. The rehab programs that are used should empower the person to surpass this handicap and become emotionnaly self-sufficient. Rarely the source of INdependance was presented to these person in a no-nonsense approach. They end up dilapidating their assets (physicaly, emotionaly and material)to fill up the narcissistic void created at a tender age. Whereas, as a rule, persons are most always more faithfull to abuse than love. So they will, as a donkey, keep running to catch the emotional carrot. As long as one does not become their own nurturing parents, I say that they will remain in a state on need and want, the void. The ego malnurrished as a youth will, as a reflex, fold on itself so to rebuild the entity. Finaly, when and only when, the suffering surpasses the ego that one will step out of denial and research an alternative to self-abuse. Posted 2007-06-01 09:51:57 2. Untitled mike, Unregistered I thought I was crazy and ashamed to admit to anyone how quickly I caught on to things. I used drugs and alcohol to dumb down and stop my mind from seeing things others never noticed. I hate it when a teacher or professional says you are so much smarter than you realize. I hate compliments I have low self esteem and withdraw from social situations because of the lack of stimulation. People think its a gift and those that actually have it know what I mean when I say it is what I describe as hell on earth! Its not an inflated ego beleive me living with it daily can be terrible. Posted 2007-05-06 18:51:48 1. Untitled Ann Carter, Unregistered Great article! To many of our young people are not being challenged. Even the average child states that school is boring. We need to make some changes. Posted 2007-04-28 05:10:23              |
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