| SUBSCRIBER LOGIN |
|---|
| News Briefs | ||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
||||||||||
| Polls |
|---|
| Special Offer |
|---|
|
|
| Don’t Tell Mom, But My Money is All Gone |
| Columns - First Person | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Written by Sandy Yakim | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Wednesday, 27 June 2007 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
People come to gambling for different reasons, usually beginning with
the entertainment aspect. Those of us who have developed an addiction
may have started just that way, but then, for different reasons, the
entertainment goes astray. In my case, it became a distraction — a way
to hide, relax and numb myself to the challenges of everyday life.
I had never gambled … ever, until four years ago when I accompanied my mother on a trip to visit my aunt and uncle in Reno. Part of their entertainment is gambling, so I saved a little money and played with that only. Over the next few years I visited Atlantic City on my way to visit my sister in Cape Cod. It was during this time that both my father and stepfather passed away. Over the next few years my mother experienced several health problems and underwent surgery. I began visiting some of the many local casinos and gambling spots to unwind from the pressures of school and running back and forth to visit my ailing mother. Video poker machines are in 98 local establishments in my home of Morgantown, West Virginia. My gambling started on weekends. Upon returning from my mother’s home, I would just play for an hour or so and then go home, always limiting the amount of money I spent to no more than $20 to $40. By Spring 2004 I was gambling after school, spending my weekends seeking out new gambling establishments in the immediate and surrounding areas. My big fall into the pit occurred early that summer. I started out visiting some of the local places each day, all the while teaching school. Since I limited my gambling to weekends and after school, it did not interfere with my work. I started gambling for fun, an opportunity to relax and visit with new people who had similar interests. We discussed our wins and losses, family, travel, our health, everything. It was so much fun, but it soon spiraled out of control. I began going to the bowling alley every day, and at the beginning of each day I would grow more excited about what I might win, wondering if this would be the big day. Even now, I get excited just thinking about it. I am one of those folks who didn’t win much. Although I had occasion to win $300 one day, $900 another day, I ended up losing that money when I returned to the gambling establishments. I went from gambling no more than $40 to spending up to $300. I went through my savings, sold coins and jewelry, and even took out a small loan to pay off my credit cards, only to start using the pin number on my credit card to withdraw money for gambling. I was taking out so much money that the credit card company contacted me several times to make sure my card had not been stolen. I continued to withdraw money until I had reached the credit limit. By late summer I realized that my only remaining funds were those I had put away for the two summer months I wasn’t going to be teaching. I then spent that money, and continued lying to my friends and family, denying that I had a problem. I took out another loan and by the end of summer I had only 47 cents and one untouched credit card. It was like my mind had gone numb. I had never thought about how much I was spending and had ignored the mounting debt, rationalizing that I was fine and in control of the situation. Throughout the summer I had continued to call my mother every night, but had only been talking with my sister on a weekly basis. I had reached my lowest point the night my sister asked me if I was mad at her because I had not visited her. I spilled my guts, telling her about my gambling problem and crying. She encouraged me to get help, and after one more night of gambling, I gave in and called the Problem Gamblers Help Network of West Virginia. For what seemed like two hours, I talked with someone who calmed me down and convinced me to see a counselor. That was the beginning of my recovery, when I admitted my gambling addiction. The next evening I met with an addiction counselor who asked me some questions, and also let me talk and cry. Together we worked on practice sheets that allowed me to take a long, hard look at my addiction. We went through a series of questions that helped me identify the severity of my own compulsive gambling, and let me see how I had used gambling as an escape from the many challenges in my life. We met a few days later and continued to examine my reasons for gambling, and discussed money management. For several months as I met with my counselor weekly and remained clean, I began to recover the joy in my life as the fog began to lift. My sister and her fiancé have been extremely supportive, calling me every day since learning of my addiction. They refer to themselves as the (SST) Sandy Support Team, and I will be forever grateful to them for their love and support. I have since been able to come out to my friends about my gambling addiction. A 12-step program has played a very important role in my recovery. Although I put it off for some time, at the advice of my counselor, I finally attended my first meeting on Sept. 22, 2004, accompanied by a fellow member. The speakers at the meeting were powerful. The power of 12-step is in the support. We are all in the same boat, however different the circumstances and stories may be. The one thing we all have in common is an inability to control our gambling. As I have learned through 12-step: “Gambling is an inadequate or inappropriate response to a life situation.” Together, we acknowledge that we are powerless over gambling, but with the support of others, and taking it one day at a time (sometimes one hour at a time), we are regaining our lives and finding better ways to cope with an insidious addiction. Today I have more than two years clean with the help of the Problem Gamblers Help Network of West Virginia, my counselor and 12-step. I have money in my savings account. I can shop, a little bit. Life is good; I am happy and have found my joy once again.             
Powered by !JoomlaComment 3.25
3.25 Copyright (C) 2007 Alain Georgette / Copyright (C) 2006 Frantisek Hliva. All rights reserved." |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|
