Counselor Magazine, the Magazine for Addiction Professionals

SUBSCRIBER LOGIN

News Briefs

Problem Parents to Blame for Teens Obtaining Drugs

Problem parents -- those who fail to monitor their children's school night activities, safeguard their prescription drugs, address the problem of drugs in their children's schools, and set good examples -- increase the risk that their 12- to 17-year-old children will smoke, drink, and use illegal and prescription drugs, according to the National Survey of American Attitudes on Substance Abuse XIII: Teens and Parents, the 13th annual back-to-school survey conducted by The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University.

"This year's survey reveals that too many mothers and fathers are problem parents who fail to take essential steps to prevent their kids from smoking, drinking or using drugs. By their actions -- and inactions -- by failing to become part of the solution, these parents become part of the problem of teen alcohol and drug abuse," said Joseph A. Califano, Jr., CASA's chairman and president and former U.S. Secretary of Health, Education, and Welfare. "Indeed, these problem parents enable -- some even encourage -- their 12- to 17-year-olds to use and abuse tobacco, alcohol, and illegal and prescription drugs."

Polls

Can Recovering Drug Addicts Drink?

	Yes
	No
	I don't know

Special Offer

Bringing Our Lives Into Balance

Columns - Wellness

Written by John Newport, PhD

Friday, 04 January 2008

This column expands on a theme I developed in a recent column titled, “From Doing to Being,” which addressed the importance of helping your clients free themselves from their obsessive-compulsive tendencies as part and parcel of a holistic approach to recovery. In this issue I would like to take this theme one step further, through focusing on the ongoing work that is required of all of us — clients and counselors alike — in seeking to bring our lives into balance. As always, please feel free to share this with any clients or colleagues who might benefit from the message.

I recently read a fascinating book by Dr. David Powell titled, Playing Life’s Second Half: A Man’s Guide for Turning Success Into Significance. In this book, Powell describes the journey of ascent that characterizes the first half of most men’s lives — climbing the corporate ladder and striving to excel in one’s career, while focusing steadfastly on pursuing status and financial success. Somewhere in mid-life, however, most men are confronted with an inescapable feeling that their lives have fallen severely out of balance. Indeed, the price we pay in striving for success can exact a heavy toll in deflecting us from the joys and rewards associated with the “softer” side of life — nurturing, caring relationships with our partners and children, having a positive impact on the lives of those around us, and just plain letting down our hair and having FUN!

Women’s lives often become out of balance in the opposite direction. All too often, women end up placing themselves last as they become overly caught up in the caregiver role — always tending to everyone else’s needs, while losing sight of their own dreams. This is epitomized in the wives of many alcoholics and addicts, who focus all of their time and energy on “picking up” after everyone else while their own lives are falling apart.

Creating balance in our lives is critically important in recovery from addictive disorders, which is a key reason why Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs are so successful. Through turning our lives over to a beneficent Higher Power, and following the steps and traditions of the program, we are led toward increased balance and richness in our lives. Despite the program’s tools, however, attempting to maintain a semblance of balance in our lives can be an overwhelming challenge for many of us, as we are constantly attempting to juggle too many conflicting demands.

Some issues of balance that I am currently struggling with in my own life include balancing my passion for my work, which I find to be both challenging and invigorating, with the need to pay fuller attention to my inner urge to LIGHTEN UP and play more — occasionally “playing hooky” from my self-imposed work-related responsibilities.

Moving our lives into greater balance

As indicated above, I certainly don’t have a corner on the market in terms of words of wisdom on this particular subject. Some of the lessons I am currently learning in regard to bringing my own life into better balance include:

1. SLOW DOWN — We all need to take the time to get in touch with our hearts, listen to what they are trying to tell us, and honor this message through our actions. For yours truly, some of the more powerful ways of seeking attonement with my heart include meditation, listening to relaxing music, and spending time in nature.

2. Listen to your body, and heed its messages — If we pay attention, our bodies will tell us in no uncertain terms when our lives are getting overly out of balance. When I am getting too intense at working on my writing and promotional efforts, the muscles in my shoulders and upper back often become tense and painful. It’s my body’s way of telling me — “Hey man, time to hang it up for awhile and take a break!” If I’m wise enough to listen, I’ll treat myself to some needed (and well deserved) diversion by spending an afternoon on the beach, or hiking in the nearby mountains.

3. No matter how hectic life may seem, take time to smell the roses and celebrate life — One of my favorite ways of celebrating life on a daily basis is through my morning walks over the hills of our beautiful seaside community in northern Washing-ton. As I arrive at the top of the hill and gaze out at the snow-capped peaks, I am overwhelmed with awe and gratitude at what I see. Invariably, when I arrive back home I am fully energized and eager to tackle whatever new projects lie ahead.

4. Cultivate the art of really LISTENING to your partner, and other significant people in your life — Ask yourself — what are these people really trying to tell me? Am I receptive to these messages? What is there for me to learn here?

Will we ever bring our lives completely into balance? Probably not. However, as the saying goes, the joy is in the journey. Until next time — to your health!